“I just had it in my head that I wanted to be really, really skinny.”
By: Emily J
In Little Mix’s new book, Our World, Jade Thirwall reveals she began suffering from anorexia at just 13 years old, after her classmates started bullying her at school.
“I was about 13 when I got anorexia,” she shares. “I think it was the culmination of a lot of stuff, not just the bullying. My mam and and dad were arguing a lot and my Grandad Mohammed, who I was really close to, died. At 13, you’re at that age when you don’t really have control over anything and I felt as if the only thing I could control was what I was eating. I started skipping meals and stuff like that. I would look in the mirror and it wasn’t that I’d think I was fat, I just had it in my head that I wanted to be really, really skinny.”
(photo via Instagram)
Jade said she would only eat foods that served as a laxative and would throw away dinner when her parents weren’t looking. Even though she lost weight rapidly, no one noticed because she still wore baggy clothes. “My periods stopped and things were getting out of control, but I don’t think I really cared about what was happening to me,” Jade recalls. “I felt so depressed at that time that I just wanted to waste away and disappear.”
After a year or two of this vicious cycle, Jade’s parents finally caught on after a school counselor intervened. Weighing just 84 lbs, it was time to seek professional help.
“Anorexia is a self-destructive thing and you become stubborn, so when people are trying to tell you something you get it into your head that they’re against you and you’re not going to listen,” she penned in a passage. “It took going to hospital to make me realize what I was doing, that it wasn’t a game, it was something really serious.”
If you or a loved one is having trouble with an eating disorder please find help and support through NEDA (the National Eating Disorder Association). Their website, along with a number to a 24 hour hotline, can be found here.
Remember, you’re never alone – and You’re So Beautiful Now.