EXCLUSIVE: Jilian Linklater Shares Her Advice for Dealing with a BFF Breakup

The singer’s emotional new song is called “Breaking Up with Your Best Friend.”

If you’ve ever grown apart from someone you used to be best friends with, you know how painful it can be. Sometimes, you can slowly drify apart after you realize you don’t have much in common anymore. Other times, you may end a years-long friendship after having a big fight. Either way, you could find yourself missing an important person in your life.

Singer-songwriter Jilian Linklater just released a new song all about this struggle. Called “Breaking Up with Your Best Friend,” this track is all about dealing with a shattered friendship. We caught up with the artist to hear the story behind the song, and get her advice on how we can all get through a similar BFF-breakup.

YSBnow: What would your advice be to a listener who may be drifting apart from one of their closest friends?

Jilian Linklater: I’ve realized advice is rarely what I need when I’m struggling or in pain, so I’d be hesitant to offer it. Usually a more impactful thing is just for someone to acknowledge my pain and sit in it with me and say – “Gosh, I’m so sorry. That seriously sucks.”

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling hurt, sad, overwhelmed, not sure what to do, I would say to you – “I see you, your pain is real, it’s not stupid, I understand it hurts so, so bad, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” I would also encourage you to reach out to a friend, family member, or mentor and ask for this kind of comfort because it is so helpful and healing.  

YSBnow: How about in a situation where a friendship is becoming really toxic, and it’s important to intentionally step away?

Jilian Linklater: This is a really hard thing for me to do. But something that helped me was learning my own self worth. I used to think that “loving myself” or having confidence was cocky or arrogant. So I devalued myself in relationships.  When I started to learn that I was I just as important and valuable as the other person, it was much easier for me to see when a relationship wasn’t healthy for me.

YSBnow: Do you think it’s more important to be able to embrace the change that naturally comes with friendships, or work on them to grow together?

Jilian Linklater: Wow, these are really good questions. There is never a “one size fits all” answer, but in my situation, it seemed that my friend was not willing to work through it with me. So for me, I got to a place where I had to let the relationship go because there was nothing more I could do to fix it.

YSBnow: What’s the impact that you hope your new song has? And how to do you hope others will be able to relate to its story?

Jilian Linklater: As much as I hope that people aren’t going through this type of situation, reality is, we all experience loss of some kind. I hope this song can be a comforting hug to anyone who is dealing with or who has dealt with losing someone. I hope people feel acknowledged in their pain because it is real and it is not stupid. And I hope they feel they are not alone.

Be sure to check out Jilian’s new song “Breaking Up with Your Best Friend” below: